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Sissy therapy – session 1: Post orgasmic guilt is more complicated than it seems.

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One minute it all makes sense: you're a girl dressed in a pretty outfit, Daddy's hardness up your ass, and you're moaning, "yes, Daddy...yes, Daddy." Then you cum! And suddenly...none of it makes sense. "

One minute it all makes sense: you’re a girl dressed in a pretty outfit, Daddy’s meaty rod up your slit and you’re moaning, “yes, Daddy…yes, Daddy.” Then you cum! And suddenly…crossdressing and fucking Daddy makes no sense whatsoever. “

When I began my career as a dominatrix, I observed post orgasmic guilt first hand and recognized it for what it was: a bad vibe! I want submissives in my dungeon to experience a catharsis, which means that sissies bolting for the door and feeling ashamed of themselves is totally uncool.

So today we’re gonna take your sissy shame and we’re gonna banish it: an exorcism of shame. But to do that you gotta pass through five steps.

1. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that the post orgasm voice of guilt is ‘the real you.’

You may think that your thoughts post orgasm represent ‘the real you’ but it’s all neuro-chemistry. Have you ever wondered why girls can cum repeatedly but guy’s can’t? The answer is prolactin.

As ElectraL writes on transcendmovement.com, Prolactin is a protein the male brain releases after orgasm to counter dopamine (that’s why it’s impossible for a guy to get hard immediately after: the dopamine is supressed.) In some senses, therefore, prolactin is a depressant…so the moments of regret you feel after you cum is not ‘the real you’…it’s a depressed you.

1. Recognise that shame is a negative, unnecessary emotion.

Shame needs to be eliminated because of what I said above: it’s a bad vibe. The orgasm is one of the most beautiful sensations on earth, and most people feel great after having one. Why should you – just because your sexuality isn’t vanilla hetero – start feeling regret about the erotic experience you just had?

Save shame for when it’s socially useful: when you steal, lie or cheat…not for when you engage in sexual behavior.

You're supposed to feel good after an orgasm...not guilty! Unless you just slept with your best friend's girlfriend!

You’re supposed to feel good after an orgasm…not guilty! Unless you just slept with your best friend’s girlfriend!

3. Recognize that shame goes much deeper than its immediate negative impact.

If shame was just a 30 second negative experience then it wouldn’t be so important you deal with it. Shame about your sexuality isn’t just a 30 second experience, however…it has negative consequences for your mental health.

When we talk about ‘mental health’ in this context we do not mean big pathologies like depression or addiction, we mean – psychological factors that make the difference between optimum happiness or just getting by.

Happy people accept themselves unconditionally and incorporate all aspects of themselves (upbringing, sexuality, strengths, weaknesses etc.) in their self-definition and the way they project that self to the world. Furthermore, not only do they accept all aspects of themselves…they’re proud of them.

A person who denies or hides from their true self can be happy…but there will always be chink in the armor – especially when they build a false identity. Because most sissies are attracted to women, they can easily tell themselves that their sexuality is heterosexual and that all that girly stuff is just a minor kink. But is it?

Not only are some sissies transgender, but almost all of them report constantly fantasizing about other people and situations during sex with girls. True…extra partner fantasizing is widespread in human sexuality, but it occurs with much greater frequency and intensity in sissies. These two facts suggest that the sissy sexuality is, far from a crossdressing kink, the dominant feature of their sexuality. Therefore, when it is denied and tarnished with guilt in the construction of the self it has negative consequences for happiness.

Constructing a self around the premise “I’m just a regular hetero guy”* when you’re a crossdressing sissy leads to falseness, and without wanting to sound like Yoda, falseness leads to inauthenticity and inauthenticity leads to unhappiness. It has been shown time and time again (to the point of cliche) that we need to define ourselves and live according to our true nature.

sorry about the whole Yoda thing but it's important you understand how shame leads to the unhappy side of the force.

sorry about the whole Yoda thing but it’s important you understand how shame leads to the unhappy side of the force.

And don’t underestimate the position of sexuality in self-definition. It’s easy to say ‘Elle, you’re exaggerating…it’s just sex,” but you have to remember that our prime biological function is to have sex. If it wasn’t, then we wouldn’t think about it all day.

I know this all sounds like airy fairy psycho babble but I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Clients who go from denial and detachment…to acceptance and incorporation of their sexuality into their self – are much happier human beings. The question is, though, how did they learn to accept and be proud of being a sissy?

4. To stop feeling shame you have to stop thinking that you’re a sissy or that there is such a thing as ‘normal’ in sexuality.

Paradoxically, being proud of being a sissy involves not seeing yourself as a sissy (however, if you are happy with seeing yourself as a sissy then that’s your prerogative.) For most people, however – including myself, ‘sissy’ is only a play term for domination and submission in sexual contexts. You need to start exploring the wider discourse around autogynephiliac sexuality and see how different people interpret it: the sexologists, fetishists and transgender theorists. (autogynephilia = the love of onself as a woman)

As I explain in my work of psychoerotica, Sissy Hypno, I do not expect the men in my hive to describe themselves as sissies outside of my dungeon. I encourage them to find a way of understanding their sexuality which they can be proud of. My personal belief is that the healthiest narrative to build about sissy sexuality is to leave behind value-heavy terms such as ‘fetish’ and to build the simplest narrative at all: that a sissy is as a unique type of man with a strong female side – a man with an extra layer of depth.

However, I repeat…it’s all down to you…if you wanna see yourself as a raving fetishist crossdresser and you’re happy with that then that’s fine…JUST AS LONG AS YOU LEAVE THE WHOLE SHAME THING BEHIND YOU.

5. The only real way to avoid post orgasmic guilt is chastity.


Ok, now that I have fulfilled my obligations to my editor to write something psychological…let’s get back to real life. We all know that post orgasmic guilt is caused by a violation of your feminity by the male orgasm. You’re a pretty little sissy and are not supposed to dribble…that way you will keep your desire for femininity consistent and unrelenting. There is, therefore, only one way to avoid post orgasmic guilt: no orgasms. Get that sissy clit caged immediately!


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{ 5 comments… add one }
  • Rylee November 25, 2016, 8:26 pm

    Wow, this was just what I needed today. Extremely comforting and helpful, thank you!

    • Elle Mesen December 2, 2016, 9:31 am

      Your respect is noted and may count in your favor. I permit you to milk yourself more than the regulation once per month. But only one extra!

  • Chris November 27, 2016, 12:56 am

    I have this problem too.

    When I started jacking off to straight porn, I eventually realized, I was actually fantasizing about being the girl in the porn, not the guy. So then I thought maybe I’m “gay”. So I looked at gay porn and tried to jack off to it, but I was disgusted by it. 2 masculine guys getting it on did nothing for me. From the gay porn sites, I happened to discover shemale porn, and then from there sissies in chastity.

    When I watch sissy hypno, my cock starts dribbling immediately and I wipe up my precum with my finger and lick it off. While I’m jacking off, all I can think of is how I wish, I was sucking cock, swallowing cum and getting fucked in the ass, like a true slut. I tell myself, I’m going to eat my own cum after I cum and even shoot it into a cup, so I can do so.

    But as soon as I actually cum, I am repulsed by it. The look and smell of my own cum makes me gag. The thought of eating it is as repulsive as eating snot. So I dump it in the toilet. I feel confused and ashamed. I swear to myself, I will not jack off to being a sissy ever again.

    But the next time I’m horny, I can’t help but have the sissy fantasy again.

    I have even experimented with “gay” sex as both a top and bottom. Although I loved sucking cock and getting fucked in the ass, being “gay” with another “gay” male, just didn’t do it for me.

    I am a married man, with 3 kids, who occasionally has sex with my wife, when I’m drunk.

    But I can’t stop fantasizing about being a sissy slut. Where I’m a “girl” sucking the cock of and getting fucked by a real man, not hooking up with a “fag”.

  • Chris the wannabe sissy December 1, 2016, 12:34 am

    I made an interesting discovery. I saved a load of cum, I had shot into a cup, when I jacked off to sissy hypno. Then a little while later, I started watching sissy hypno again.

    I felt that intense urge to be a sissy again, as I watched the video. All of a sudden I grabbed the cup with my recent load in it, and I poured it into my mouth. As I continued to watch the sissy hypno, I savored the cum, swishing it around in my mouth with my tongue, and then swallowed it. I actually LOVED the taste of cum.

    I have now swallowed 3 of my own loads, and have no hesitation to swallow a load. Now I’m not upset, that I ate my own cum like a dirty whore. I’m upset, that I only have my own cum to eat, which is a limited supply. I have got to figure out a way to get more cum from real men.

    Now I understand it. A true sissy like me should have her clitty permanently locked. The male act of jacking off has a biochemical effect that adversely interferes, with the true feminine desires of the sissy’s heart and mind. A true sissy has a much better orgasm from a sissygasm. When she has sucked and fucked cock , till she has an orgasm without touching her clitty.

    The best orgasms I have had, were the few times, when I jacked off, while being fucked by a “fag”. But they were still somehow disappointing. While they were much better, than fucking my real girl wife; I now realize, that I can only achieve true ecstasy, if I can fuck and suck real men as a locked sissy.

    • Elle Mesen December 2, 2016, 9:26 am

      You are what we call ‘a rogue sissy’ – a sissy who is out of control and lost in vice and filth, and in need of a mistress who has a very very strong hand. As I make clear in Sissy Hypno, sissies must confess their sordid little desires and needs to their wives and allow her to rule them. You may think she doesn’t have what it takes to dominate you but you would be surprised. We (women) bring and raise children into this world and every woman has it in her to crush men beneath their heel – especially a woeful little sissy like yourself. Therefore, I expect you to buy yourself a chastity device and to present the key to your wife along with plans for how you will find her a real man to satisfy her. Then you must begin your life as her sissy maid…as all sissies must.

      Report back in one week with your progress. And consider yourself lucky that you’re nowhere near my hive because I would throw you into my dungeon and do unspeakable things to you. Filthy little sissy!

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